I order the club sandwich all the time. I’m not even a member. I dunno how I get away with it.
What do you get when you cross a rope and a lollipop???
Skip it, it sucks!
Two babies were laying in their hospital crib and one says to the other, “I don’t know if I am a boy or a girl” .
The other baby says, “I know what I am.”
" How? "
The baby whips back his cover and says, “I’m a boy! See? Blue booties!”
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What’s the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids don’t eat broccoli 
Q: What do you call a herd of cows flying to Texas?
A: Steaks on a plane
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Spell
Spell who?
W-H-O
As told to me by the same
third grader at least once a week…. What do you call a happy berry?
A merry cherry!
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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Cantelope…Cantelope, who? Cantelope tonight, Dad’s got the car!
Te vendo una vaca. Para qué quiero yo una vaca vendada?
What is brown and sticky?
A stick!
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?
“Do not consume if seal is broken”
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy and the other’s a little lighter. 
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks! 
What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
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What did one fish say to the other? A: Keep your mouth shut and we wont get caught!
What’s black and white and red all over??
A zebra with a sunburn!
What does a fisherman listen to while on their boat?
Pond-tunes.
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What’s blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
Why did Poi cross the road?
Because he’s a good boi!
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For ALL you coffee lovers. This one’s for you…
Shortly after tying the knot, a young married couple started arguing over who should make the coffee. Being a good Christian woman, the wife went to the scriptures for her answer. She said that the Bible specifically stated that men should be the ones to make the coffee.
Puzzled, the husband asked her where in the Bible it said that. Very confidently, the wife opened up her Bible and said: “It’s right here—HEBREWS.”
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