My mom: what kind of animal is that?
Dad: It’s a Himalayan possum.
Mom: how do you know it’s nationality?
Dad: because "him-a-layin’ " on the highway!
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What did the triangle say to the circle?
You’re pointless.
I loved this one when my Dad told it to me…Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!
My dad: said 1 time before you was born, I worked as a comedian Me: 
dad why did you quit? My Dad: Because I couldn’t stand people laughing at me 
What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
Roberto🤓
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!
I’m a stand up comedian but you can laugh when I sit down
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Did you hear laughing too loudly is illegal in Hawaii? They only permit a-low-ha. LOL
Your refrigerators running you better go catch it
I don’t trust stairs, there always up to something…
What did the duck say to the comedian? You’re quacking me up!
What do call a cow that twitches?
Beef Jerky!!
I can row a boat, canoe?
(My) Dad newest joke: “Farmer with a
Migraine headache looks out the window and says: ‘Out there is where my grain is!’ “
Where do pirates get their hooks?
Second hand stores!
What’s leather and sounds like a sneeze?!
A SHHOOOOEEEEE!
When he was sick… How do you feel? With my hands how do you feel?
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Does anybody know where a dad can find a person to talk to and hang out with?
Asking for a friend.
Me: Your driving me crazy, Dad: That’s not a drive, that’s a short putt.
What are Mario’s pants made of?
Denim, Denim, Denim